For all my Christmas singing friends...

[mcroft]

captainlucy makes the blinding discovery that Christmas muzak can be made bearable by inserting the word ‘Sex’ for ‘Christmas’.

‘I wish it could be sex everyday…’ etc etc.

It can also be made deeply disturbing, vide the first line from ‘Do they know it’s Christmas…

via Crooked Timber

'I'll be home for sex.'
'All I want for sex is my two front teeth.'
'The twelve days of sex.'

Now, I think this also applies to Christmas specials and movies as well. Although you get some odd results.

'The year without sex.'
'The nightmare before sex.'
'Sex with the Kranks.'
'Julie Andrew's The Sound of Sex.'

And some really disturbing ones.

'A Garfield Sex Special.'
'It's a Very Merry Muppet Sex Movie'

In the end, nothing really beats this for "things I did not want to think about".
'Bob Hope's Overseas Sex Tours: Around the World with the Troops - 1941-1972'

Comments

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

The Beatles are a great source for mining this vein...

All you need is dick!
(All together now...)

She dicks me, yeah, yeah, yeah...

----
However there are others. There's Paul Williams.
----
Dick, exciting and new
Come Aboard. We're expecting you.
Dick, life's sweetest reward.
Let it flow, it floats back to you.

Dick Boat soon will be making another run
The Dick Boat promises something for everyone
Set a course for adventure,
Your mind on a new romance.

Dick won't hurt anymore
It's an open smile on a friendly shore.
Yes DIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! It's DIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK! (hey-ah!)