Narnia/Namibia. They're close, right?
Apr. 17th, 2006 09:24 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mcroftThis TMZ article made me think.
(April 12, 3:45PM ET) -- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have jetted off with their two adopted children to Narnia as her due date nears. The couple reportedly plans to stay in Cair Paravel for the birth of their child to minimize the danger of out-of-control talking animals. But Cair Paravel could pose an even more serious danger -- namely, Turkish Delight.
TMZ contacted Passport Health for their take on pregnant women traveling to Narnia and giving birth there. Susan Pevensie, the Executive Director and head nurse, said, "I would not recommend it. No one would."
Centers for Orbital Mind Control Prevention is on record discouraging pregnant women from traveling to areas where Turkish Delight is prevalent, adding that Turkish Delight is a "major risk." Turkish Delight causes treason and allows the White Witch to come to power, which can cause premature birth, miscarriage, the death of Aslan, and lead to the end of the world.
Turkish Delight is most prevalent in Narnia between November through June.
There are anti-Turkish Delight pills that people can take to prevent the disease, but Pevensie from Passport Health tells TMZ that such precautions are not fool proof. In addition, Pevensie calls health care in Cair Paravel "overwhelmingly poor."
TMZ put calls in to Jolie's rep -- The official response is that Narnia is a wonderful country and the Dawn Treader is fully equipped to deal with any medical situation. "Angelina feels comfortable in a fantasy land, and once Maddox fell through that old wardrobe, it was very clear how things would be."
Angelina's Baby Danger
Africa poses pregnancy risks
By TMZ STAFF
(April 12, 3:45PM ET) -- Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt have jetted off with their two adopted children to Narnia as her due date nears. The couple reportedly plans to stay in Cair Paravel for the birth of their child to minimize the danger of out-of-control talking animals. But Cair Paravel could pose an even more serious danger -- namely, Turkish Delight.
TMZ contacted Passport Health for their take on pregnant women traveling to Narnia and giving birth there. Susan Pevensie, the Executive Director and head nurse, said, "I would not recommend it. No one would."
Centers for Orbital Mind Control Prevention is on record discouraging pregnant women from traveling to areas where Turkish Delight is prevalent, adding that Turkish Delight is a "major risk." Turkish Delight causes treason and allows the White Witch to come to power, which can cause premature birth, miscarriage, the death of Aslan, and lead to the end of the world.
Turkish Delight is most prevalent in Narnia between November through June.
There are anti-Turkish Delight pills that people can take to prevent the disease, but Pevensie from Passport Health tells TMZ that such precautions are not fool proof. In addition, Pevensie calls health care in Cair Paravel "overwhelmingly poor."
TMZ put calls in to Jolie's rep -- The official response is that Narnia is a wonderful country and the Dawn Treader is fully equipped to deal with any medical situation. "Angelina feels comfortable in a fantasy land, and once Maddox fell through that old wardrobe, it was very clear how things would be."
Getty Images
Angelina Jolie
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no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 01:44 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 02:13 am (UTC)We have received information that confirms have informed us that Angelina and Brad's expected bundle of joy is in even greater danger than anyone suspected.
Our highly informed sources tell us that somebody we will refer to only as "L.V." (since we don't want to get our asses fried) has uncovered information that has lead him to believe that the as-yet-unborn-infant may pose a threat to his 'political' ambitions and indeed his very existence. It is strongly suspected that if L.V. were in the vicinity at the joyful moment, he would lead his dreaded army of death-sucking paparazzi straight to the scene, if not the room, of the birth.
Our sources assure us that the real reason that Miss Jolie has chosen to accept the risk of having her baby in Turkish Delight infested Narnia is an attempt to evade L.V. and his
evil plotunwholesome and possibly dangerous behavior. This may indeed be the wisest course of action on Jolie's part, since L.V. stands only the smallest chance of clearing Narnia customs, as Narnia already has its full quota of evil would-be conquerors.no subject
Date: 2006-04-18 09:36 am (UTC)