I enjoy a good lawyer smackdown...

[mcroft]

via Bryant, with whom I only have a small overlapping f-list.

When I was working for a celtic band which received a C&D letter from a former bandmate, they got a lawyer to write a snotty "you have no leg to stand on" letter to her lawyer. As far as I can tell, lawyers actually like smacking lazy colleagues. Bryant ran across a beautiful letter from a small, high-end cable company to Monster Cable, Inc. Turns out the president of Blue Jeans Cable Co. was a lawyer before he started the cable company.

http://www.audioholics.com/news/industry-news/blue-jeans-strikes-back

Read the patents narrowly, and Monster loses; read them broadly, and Monster loses. You are welcome to point out any error in my reasoning; but I have to say that I will be unreservedly surprised if you are successful in doing so.

I, like Bryant, enjoyed the whole thing. It's very reasonable lawyerese for "bring it"

No word in there about about any actual advantage between Monster Cables, Blue Jeans Cables, and Coat Hangars

Comments

[drangelo.livejournal.com]

This is wonderful. I only wish that this sort of thing could happen more frequently. But since that is unlikely, I will just have to remember this post and read it again later. Thanks for sharing.

[libskrat]

Oh, N-I-C-E. Rock on, Mr. Lawyer Dude.

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

As far as I can tell, lawyers actually like smacking lazy colleagues.

Oh yes. And they like passing stuff like this around too.

That's an excellent example of the genre.

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

I was thinking of you when I chose to re-post this.

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

I appreciate it. I love these things. Some of the best examples out there are judges smacking down counsel in their published opinions. Have you seen the "heat death of the sun" one?

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

I'm not recalling it.

I think we've discussed Sam Kent and his colorful Gavleston-based decisions before, right? http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/skent1.html

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

We sure have -- he's great!

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

I found out while searching for that that he's currently under investigation for sexual harassment of his case manager, though. I suspect he's on his way out.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

Link?

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

So not so great in some ways, apparently. Shame.

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

If you're asking for a link to the "heat death of the Earth" opinion, I've tried to find it and can't. The basic idea is that the judge was pissed at both sides for endless discovery and interrogatories, so he started the opinion something like "In X billion years, the Sun will exhaust the Hydrogen in its core and become a red giant. At that time, its diameter will expand to X, engulfing the orbit of the Earth. When that happens, all the documentation in this case will be destroyed..." and goes on from there.

I've seen it, but it's been years and I don't remember the parties or the circuit. I think Apple may have been one party.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

That's beautiful, man.

*wipes tear*

Thanks!

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

I've emailed my former Patent prof to see if she recognizes it. I'll post if it turns up. ;-)