An Educated Consumer is our Best Customer...

[mcroft]

Target (aka, "that fine French emporium, Tar-jay") has a line of historical dolls. From the Presidents collection, here we have an example.

President Franklin Roosevelt.


Wow. This isn't one of my photoshop efforts, unfortunately. It's exactly what I see on screen right now.
The text is better.

• 25 different phrases in the Presidents own Voice! -- Aside from the remarkable achievement recording that guy's voice would be, Bob weeps. Also, what's with the capital 'V'? The rest of the text is sentence case...


• include an individually numbered certificate of authenticity -- That I would like to see.


• a biographical pamphlet that includes rare photos -- They would have to be.


• a comprehensive timeline specific to each figure. -- Or to some figure, anyway.


• period correct clothing that has been hand tailored to suit the figure -- because lord knows this President wouldn't wear off-the-rack

The full ad, available at target.com at the time of this post,


via I don't remember, but somewhere funny

Comments

[hangingfire.livejournal.com]

Once I recovered from the brain-breaky, I got a fair amount of amusement out of the customer reviews as well. For instance:

Our 4th President Benjamin Franklin Delano Roosevelt, September 1, 2006
Reviewer: Erik H (Hartford, CT) - See all my reviews
This unique figure is an exact replica of FDR who served as both our 4th president (between Jefferson and Monroe) and our 32nd president. This figure is of him during his first of 6 terms, prior to his contraction of polio.

As the description notes, it comes with the actual recordings of the President including his famous "we have nothing to fear but fear itself speech", selections from his Books on Tape "Poor Richard's Almanac" and a rare live recording of Franklin's inauguration speech of 1810.

A wonderful education tool and guaranteed to cause your child to flunk history.

[vaspider]

I love your icon so much. The end.

[hangingfire.livejournal.com]

*g* Likewise! For this and the previous, credit goes to the marvelous cinnap.

(Even though the 1776 slashfic is not really my cuppa, look_sharp was worth joining for the icons alone.)

[vaspider]

I need to make looooots more icons from 1776.

[princejvstin.livejournal.com]

The doll, though, looks suspiciously more 18th than 20th century.

[shefsatyr.livejournal.com]

Wow how realistic, after all it's common knowledge that Franklin Roosevelt was so poor he had to wear his forefather's clothes..

On the other hand I'm tempted to get this one just to have a Ben Franklin action figure, that uhm.. talks. in his own voice and with photos.

[vaspider]

I am deeply distressed that there is no John Adams doll. If there were, nakedtiny and I would have to have the Franklin, Jefferson and Adams dolls for watching 1776 with.

WHAT? We're dorks.

[hangingfire.livejournal.com]

Oh thank god, it wasn't just me who thought that.

[vaspider]

Phew!

Love this idea tho... I want the entire set. (can you imagine? - heee!)

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

But -

Where's the Lincoln doll?

Bah.

Re: Love this idea tho... I want the entire set. (can you imagine? - heee!)

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

And for that matter, if there are going to include 'president' Franklin, they should have the confederate leader... who I can't even get a glimmer of a name for. Duh. Huge gap in my education.

Ah. Mark supplies me with Jefferson Davis. I think that sounds right. Anybody out there with a correction, we'd be obliged.

Re: Love this idea tho... I want the entire set. (can you imagine? - heee!)

[hsapiens.livejournal.com]

Not a correction but a confirmation. It was, indeed, Jefferson Davis.

Re: Love this idea tho... I want the entire set. (can you imagine? - heee!)

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

Oh good. Thanks!

[hsapiens.livejournal.com]

*boggles* If I weren't convinced by the grasp of English and random capitalization, I'd still claim that both this doll and the website were created in China because I would have to weep, absolutely weep, if Americans put this together and didn't catch this.