Consider the possibilities...

[mcroft]

I found this via something on Making Light. Following back from there, I found an LJ entry who's second-best point was a rant against a Wretched-Pern-Based-X-Rated-RPG the author saw on Literotica's forum. I start with the 2nd best part...

I found someone wanting to start a Pern-based Porn RPG and I can't tell if I'm more miffed about the guy who wants to have a green dragon named "Canius" (because everyone who has ever read Pern knows that all dragon's names end with "TH", that every Weyr had harpers who was also riders or that greens usually chose homosexual males because they're female dragons) or the horrible misspellings and grammar.

My porn has to be well written, damn it. If you can't even handle "blounde" hair or being a "ladys" man or having a blue fire "lizzard" (named WOLF? WOLF??? WOLF?? BZUH? Where on EARTH... no... wait, dumbass... WHERE ON PERN would the dashing "bloude harpe" have ever heard of a WOLF? Oh, wait... HE WOULDN'T HAVE. They have domestic canines that are used for spit turning and such and feral canines on the Southern continent, but "WOLF".)

GAH. My senseless impotent geekish rage, let me show you it.

Dude, how could anyone want to simulate sex with a person who can't spell what he wants to imaginarily want to do to you? I mean, I can understand the occasional typo due to shaking hands (jerking?) or sweat (and ONLY sweat, thankyouverymuch) making your fingers slip or maybe because typing "HARDER!" "FASTER!" again and again might strain something. But Jesus. If I have to type, "Say again?" that kind of kills the mood. Especially when all they want to hear back is "Ooooh.. Ahhh... You're so big. I love your cock" or some crap like that.

ALSO: READ THE BOOK IF YOU'RE GOING TO PRETEND TO BE FUCKING IN IT.

Just sayin'.

Strong stuff, but probably merited. You'd be justified in thinking that was enough to make a satisfying post. She goes on to greater heights on a new topic.

Imagine a world where someone wants a vaguely fantasy-themed wedding, but feels that Tampa's Bay Area Renaissance Festival (BARF) would be too tasteful. I know, Renn-Fest weddings often have that aroma of poshness, but our intrepid author found, through her husband's ex-D&D buddy, something better.

That disneyfied distopia you imagined? It's all there in a wedding castle in a suburban Tampa strip mall. [Incidentally, U can has franchiz, for rite price.]

The Event Factory, Home of the Castle Ballroom is just the place if you're looking to have the most memorable tacky wedding ever. Read the sordid details here.

OK, I have to post one of the pics.

I call this one Wedding Day of the Triffids.

Comments

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

Oh, wow.

[djinnthespazz.livejournal.com]

BARF?!?

*dies laughing*

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

that's the acronym in the web page. Knowing rennies, I'm sure it's what they call it.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

GAH. My senseless impotent geekish rage, let me show you it.

Holy crap. That is my life in one sentence.

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

not so. You also sing.

If it was "GAH. My senseless impotent geekish rage, let me sing you of it," then that might be a different kettle of fish.

[greeneyes-rpi.livejournal.com]

If I could arrange music, perhaps my rage would be less impotent. *sigh*

*calls for her follybard*