I have little sympathy for the lawyers in question.

[mcroft]

For my friends who might be interested in either Maritime Law or Snarky Judges. Read the PDF to get more like this.

Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact--complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words--to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care laugh in the face of death, life on the razor's edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.

Comments

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

That's a true classic. It took me this long to respond because I've been trying to find another favorite opinion that's about as brutal but with a subtler sting. I haven't been able to locate it yet.

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

Sam Kent is an evil genius. I can find 3 or 4 of his very readable judgements and orderson Google.

[tlatoani.livejournal.com]

Kent's been criticized -- and to some extent rightly -- for being needlessly and excessively cruel to people who can't really defend themselves if they want to keep practicing law in Galveston. There's a HUGE power imbalance between a federal judge and the lawyers practicing in his court, so it's kind of like a professor humiliating a student or a CEO humiliating a mid-level manager. That said, he's also funny as hell. I just feel slightly guilty laughing.

[mcroft.livejournal.com]

I did say he was an evil genius. OTOH, anyone who can't practice across the Causeway isn't done practicing. Houston is, as Kent reminded Colonial Penn, just over an hour from his courtroom.

OT: "regarding a CEO humiliating a mid-level manager", that's not really even rare.
Joel Spolsky on "My First BillG review":

Bill doesn't really want to review your spec, he just wants to make sure you've got it under control. His standard M.O. is to ask harder and harder questions until you admit that you don't know, and then he can yell at you for being unprepared. Nobody was really sure what happens if you answer the hardest question he can come up with because it's never happened before.